Why and How to Improve Your Confidence
Confidence is key to success in both personal and professional lives. But what is confidence, and how can you improve it? In this article, we explore what confidence is, why it's beneficial to enhance self-confidence, and how to increase it with simple strategies and coaching. From understanding your strengths to setting achievable goals, we discuss how to build self-confidence step by step. With the right tools, you can improve your self-confidence and lead a more fulfilling life.
Building confidence is like rising up to a mountain. It requires work, but it's worth it.
In this article, you'll learn:
What confidence is.
Why it's beneficial to enhance self-confidence.
How to increase confidence.
How coaching can aid in improving confidence.
What is confidence?
Confidence comes from the Latin word "fidere," which means "to trust." Therefore, self-confidence means trusting oneself, and it's the main topic of this article. The American Psychological Association defines self-confidence as "a belief that one is capable of successfully meeting the demands of a task." The word "belief" is important because it makes all the difference in the world. Having that belief can either make or break us.
Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.
Henri Ford
Let's take one of the greatest boxers of all time, Muhammad Ali, as an example. Muhammad Ali said he was the greatest, even before he became the world champion in boxing. He was confident that he would make it. He truly believed in himself.
Walking around saying that requires a lot of self-confidence, which means that you trust your ability to control your life or a specific situation in it. Self-confidence is what you think of your skills and abilities and how you project yourself to others.
In this context, it's also worth mentioning self-belief. Self-belief consists of our core beliefs, our values, and our character — it's who we are as human beings and how we feel about ourselves. It's something that is established as we grow up, and a lot of our self-belief is established before we're even ten years old.
"I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was." -Muhammad Ali.
That's why it can be really hard to change as well. Just think about yourself, the things you have learned from your parents, your culture, the environment, and your friends... How do you feel about trying to change those learnings?
Why it is a good idea to boost your confidence
Believing in ourselves has many benefits. Once again, I want to refer to Muhammad Ali. Being confident and believing in himself helped him on the road to becoming the world champion.
Having a healthy level of confidence improves performance, helps in having healthier relationships, aids us in bouncing back from challenging situations, and makes us more open to learning new things. Failing is a part of becoming successful, and we dare to fail easier when we feel confident. In general, good self-confidence can help us be ourselves and experience greater enjoyment in life.
If we lack self-belief or confidence, we might feel uneasy, shy, and uncertain. We may have negative thoughts about our abilities, and we may lack direction and purpose. Low self-esteem or confidence can make us feel worthless. It damages our mood and can impact our mental health. Think about the days when you felt low and compare them to the days when you felt confident.
In a nutshell, good self-confidence supports a happier life and can help us become more successful. That's why we should try to boost it.
How to improve your confidence
There are several things that impact our self-confidence, which means that there are several ways to improve it. Here are a few examples of how anyone can improve their self-confidence:
Think about what you like and what you are good at.
Understanding your strengths and building on them will help improve your abilities. It can also help you understand who you are and why you might be good at the things you do.
Look at the things you have already achieved.
Make a list of the things that you are proud of, whether it's a nice weekend with friends, traveling to a new country, or having a job. There is always something we can feel proud of, and having a list like this can be supportive in situations when we feel low.
Think about what makes you happy.
Keeping in mind the things that make you smile and doing more of them is an effective way to boost confidence.
Black belt in Confidence
The next level of mastery of self-confidence requires more time, effort, a change in behavior, and some trial and error, but it can significantly improve the quality of your life and boost your self-confidence.
The Three Foundations: Sleep, Exercise, and Nutrition
Taking care of your physical health is an important aspect of building self-confidence. Make sure you get enough quality sleep, exercise regularly, and eat a healthy diet.
Self-Talk and Body Language
The way we talk to ourselves and carry ourselves can greatly impact our self-confidence. Use positive self-talk and confident body language to boost your self-esteem.
Setting Good Goals and Achieving Them
Setting achievable goals and working towards them can help build self-confidence. Start with small, attainable goals and celebrate each success along the way.
By implementing these strategies, you can improve your self-confidence and lead a more fulfilling life. Let's have a closer look at these.
The Foundations: Sleep, Exercise, and Nutrition
Our energy levels have a great impact on how we feel and our self-confidence. To ensure good energy levels, one should focus on the foundations which consist of sleep, exercise, and nutrition. Investing in these foundations will significantly improve the quality of your life and boost your confidence.
These topics deserve articles of their own, and you can find some helpful information in my earlier writings, Working out as a Keystone Habit and Intermittent Fasting — A Power Tool for Dieting and Wellbeing (note that I’m not saying that you have to do fasting, but there is some relevant information when it comes to nutrition.)
All of these foundations are important for overall health. We are designed to be active, but we cannot be active unless we eat properly and get plenty of good-quality sleep. Lack of proper nutrition and sleep can take a toll on our confidence.
Self-talk
Positive self-talk is a powerful tool that can help us improve our self-confidence. It involves changing the way we think and talk to ourselves, by focusing on our strengths and accomplishments, rather than our weaknesses and failures. When we talk to ourselves positively, we are more likely to feel good about ourselves, which in turn can help us perform better and feel more confident.
To use positive self-talk, start by identifying your negative self-talk patterns. These might include thoughts like "I'm not good enough," "I'll never be able to do this," or "I always mess things up." Once you've identified these patterns, replace them with positive affirmations, such as "I am capable of achieving my goals," "I have the skills and knowledge to succeed," or "I am proud of what I have accomplished so far."
It's also important to practice self-compassion and be kind to ourselves when we make mistakes or face challenges. Instead of beating ourselves up or criticizing ourselves, we can acknowledge our efforts and celebrate our progress, no matter how small.
Remember, positive self-talk is not about denying or ignoring our struggles and limitations, but rather, focusing on our strengths and potential. With practice, positive self-talk can become a natural part of our daily routine and help us develop a more confident and resilient mindset.
Body Language
Body language is a powerful tool in shaping how we feel and how others perceive us. As noted, when we feel anxious or insecure, we tend to make ourselves small, while confidence is reflected in a more expansive, open posture. However, it is possible to consciously use body language to influence our mood and mindset. One technique that has gained attention is power posing, which involves holding expansive, open postures for a few minutes, in order to increase feelings of confidence and reduce stress.
Amy Cuddy's TED talk "Your body language shapes who you are" is a popular resource that explores the power of body language and the potential benefits of power posing. In her talk, Cuddy shares her research on the topic and offers practical tips for using body language to change our mindset and behavior. She also discusses the importance of "presence," which she defines as "the state of being attuned to and able to comfortably express our true thoughts, feelings, values, and potential." Overall, watching Cuddy's talk or reading her book "Presence" can be a valuable resource for those looking to improve their self-confidence through body language and mindset.
Here we see Amy Cuddy power posing. Try it out yourself!
Setting good goals and achieving them
Setting good goals and achieving them is an important aspect of building self-confidence. Goals help us create new behaviors, focus on our performance, give us purpose, and motivate us. Achieving our goals provides a sense of accomplishment and boosts our confidence.
However, setting good goals and breaking them down into smaller ones can be a challenge. It is important to learn how to set effective goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. It is also important to create a plan of action and track progress to ensure that we are moving towards achieving our goals.
To learn more about setting good goals and achieving them, you can read my previous article How to set Good Goals and Achieve them. This article provides valuable insights on goal setting and provides a step-by-step guide to help you create and achieve your goals.
How coaching can help in improving your confidence
Coaching can be a great way to improve self-confidence and achieve your goals. A coach can help you break down your goals into achievable tasks, provide support during challenging situations, and encourage a "dare to fail and learn" mindset. It can be challenging to set and achieve goals on your own, and having a coach can make the process much more manageable.
Coaching relationships also provide a space for reflection on your current situation, as well as accountability and encouragement to make the changes you want. If you're interested in exploring coaching as a way to improve your self-confidence and achieve your goals, consider finding a coach who specializes in your specific area of interest or who has experience in the types of challenges you're facing. Please feel free to reach out to me as well, if you think I could be a good fit as a coach for you.
Thank you for reading and I hope you found the information helpful! Remember, improving your self-confidence is a process and it takes time and effort. Don't be too hard on yourself and celebrate your small victories along the way. Good luck on your journey to greater self-confidence!
-Kevin
References
· Coaching Self-Confidence in Sport: An Evidence Based Approach
· The Benefits of Being Confident From Having a Better Outlook on Life to Career Success